Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
