Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
