i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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