I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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