I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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