i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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