I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
