The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
