the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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