just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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