gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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