I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize