she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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