No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
