Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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