I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
