I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
