forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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