Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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