And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love