Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin