I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.