Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
