I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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