I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
