I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize