He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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