so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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