My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
