I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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