But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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