I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think i have herpe
just one?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
