nut hugger
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
