did you get engaged???
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
