All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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