pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
