dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
