Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
