It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
