WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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