Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
