I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And then my night got REAL pukey
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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