i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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