That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
