It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
