...so i touched it.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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