Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
