did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
