So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
