i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
