dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
