Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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