who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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