My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
