butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
