I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
