i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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