Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
