I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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