Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do herpes really smell.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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