Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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