dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize