You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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